50 Ways to Leave your Liver

I don't pretend to have many answers about the best or right ways to raise kids and share what you believe with them. How do you teach them those things that you believe without it becoming indoctrination? What I do know is that I don't want them to believe that God is just about handing out blessings and miraculously making everything perfect for us. I want to model to them trusting in God even when everything feels too much and God doesn't seem to be stepping in to sort it out. I absolutely wish that my kids didn't have to go through all they are dealing with on this transplant journey. I wish I could tell them that everything will be OK. But as we walk this path as a family there are some beautiful moments. Yesterday our church gave us some time to share what was going on and then a number of people gathered around us to pray. Our 10 year old joined us at the front and stood and hugged me while people prayed. She knows this is her story. It's her pain and sadness

On Tue the 7th June I got the call to go to have a transplant. I was in the John Radcliffe hospital in Oxford at the time and, unsurprisingly, it proved to be a big day with lots to process. I decided to try and record an account of the day and here it is. I inevitably will have missed some details and not explained things well but it should give a reasonable picture of my day...   

Today I want to live and see tomorrow, And then I want to eat pizza,  I want to play 5-a-side, I want to watch the sunset in my new bedroom,  I want to curl up with Bex on the sofa,  I want an ice cold coke,  I want to go to the beach,  I want to do the school run,  I want to sing loudly when everyone's out,  I want to go to the cinema,  I want to walk in the Transplant Games opening parade,  I want to make jokes about willies,  I want to be less yellow,  I want to go to a gig,  I want to play board games,  I want to climb a tree,  I want a massage at a spa,  Yet not my will but yours..... Today I want to trust God with whatever tomorrow He has planned. 

Last Wed I got some blood tests done. At 10pm I then got a phone call from the liver consultant.... "Hello, James. We've got your blood results and your bilirubin is currently 400....." 400? Wowser! Normal range is 0-21. Three years ago I peaked at 390 but, blimey, this means I've just broken my record. I don't know what to say... I'd like to thank my wife for her love and support, my parents for teaching me to strive for excellence, my liver for always giving up on me and for... Oh wait the Dr's still talking....something about an MRI scan.....wants me to come in to hospital....liaising with the transplant centre to keep them updated....  Of course. While my love of numbers means I feel a sense of achievement at breaking the 400 barrier, it does mean I'm really not very well. Rats! So I've been in the hospital for the last 4 days, waiting for the Queen and everyone else to stop scoffing scones so that the hospital can kick back into gear. They wan