50 Ways to Leave your Liver

I am a Christian. Pretty much always have been. I hesitate to say this as everyone will have a different take on what that means and says about me. I often think about my faith like a jigsaw where there is ultimately a picture of God or a spiritual dimension that is so vast and complicated we will never understand it or finish the puzzle. And yet we can still put together groups of pieces and see a part of the picture, find something to marvel at, to learn from and be changed. I believe Jesus and his words and actions are a key part of the jigsaw. But I regularly look at pieces I once put together and question if they really fit or line up like I thought. I'm sure it's possible to go through the transplant journey without dwelling on this but the fact is that, in most cases, your life saving operation was only possible because of the tragedy of someone else's death and that the celebration of your family and friends can't be separated from the grief and tears of another...

Bags are boring. Plastic bags are boring and frustrating because you can't open them without licking them and, for a good amount of the last couple of years, you couldn't lick them unless you fed the bag inside your face mask and then you end up looking like an idiot*. Designer handbags are boring and also annoying because they pretend not to be boring by costing the same as a small car but they are still just a bag. Suitcases are boring unless they have wheels and you are under 8 and can ride them carefree around the airport. Bin bags sit in a pile and silently mock you for forgetting bin day yet again. Sleeping bags are literally the worst kind of bedding. Teabags make tea which is the epitome of a boring drink. Bagpuss is mind numbingly dull. Bagpipes are a kind of musical GBH etc etc.  And quite possibly the absolute worst thing about being on the transplant waiting list is having to pack a bag to take to the hospital when it's time to go and pick up your new liver. Pac...

In a parallel universe to ours, I wake one morning and take a couple of swigs from the tequila bottle on my bedside table.  Stumbling to the kitchen, I make myself my first few cups of coffee of the day. A little whiskey gives the coffee a bit of a kick and I light up a cigarette and contemplate how lucky I was to grow up without exposure to farm animals. In the universe from which I blog now, I am teetotal having previously been a very light and occasional drinker. I have never smoked and never been a coffee drinker. As a child I dabbled in the occasional visit to a farm. I am also on the liver transplant waiting list after a condition called Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis (PSC) has properly made a mess of my liver.  Fun fact: parallel universe me is less likely to need a new liver due to PSC (NB. it is possible parallel universe me would need a liver transplant from his heavy drinking but not from PSC). Yep, that's right, alcohol consumption has no bearing on your probabilit...